한국어를 왜 공부해요? (Why Study Korean?)

Sometimes I question why I invested so much time and energy into studying a language that is spoken in only one country (Well, two I guess, if I ever make it to North Korea). After all, I studied French for almost ten years, and still can barely manage to put a sentence together. Wouldn't that have been a more productive use of my time?

Being married to a Korean might be part of the reason, but actually, I rarely speak Korean with my husband outside silliness and playing around. All the meaty conversations of our life together are conducted in English. So why bother studying, especially now that I'm proficient enough to meet all my basic needs, and I don't even live in Korea anymore?

Today reminded me why.

Husband and I are currently visiting New York and staying with some friends that we met back in Korea (though they're not Korean). To say thanks for putting us up in their place for the week, we wanted to cook them some delicious 닭볶음탕. They had told us that the market close to their house stocked a lot of Korean items, so we went there to pick up some stuff for the meal. We overheard the shopkeepers speaking Korean, so when we couldn't find any 고추장, Husband encouraged me to ask the shop lady in Korean. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: "저... 고추장 있어요?"
[Excuse me, do you have any gochujang?]
Shopkeeper: "고추장?"
[Gochujang?] (laughing) "I think we have one left. Over there."
Me: (seeing that it was 삼장 not 고추장) "이것이 삼장인데. 매운 고추장 없어요?"
[This is samjang. You don't have any spicy gochujang, do you?]

At which point she realized that I had at least some competency in Korean. She broke out into a big smile and called to the other shopkeeper in the back to bring out the real 고추장 for this Korean-speaking-American-looking girl.

As she was ringing up our purchases, she asked me, "어떻게 한국어를 말할 줄 알아요?" [How do you know how to speak Korean?]
To which I answered, "한국에 살았어요." [I lived in Korea.]

But even that wasn't a good enough answer. She continued to ask me why I could speak Korean even after I introduced her to Husband and explained he is Korean. Finally he explained that we had been living in Korean for a long time and were just visiting the states, not living here. This she seemed to accept and laughed, then proceeded to chat with us for another few minutes.

So aside from my need for 고추장, why is it that I study Korean? Well, I guess it's probably the reason that most people take up studying a language outside from external pressures like passing an exam or getting a job. It makes us part of a new community, gives us a home away from home, and genuinely gives us opportunities to connect with people we might never have had the pleasure of meeting otherwise.

Free 고추장 isn't bad either.

내 한국 결혼식 (My Korean Wedding)

This is the story of my Korean wedding. I blogged a long time ago about Korean weddings (before I actually got to be the bride in one) See here. Needless to say, my experience was a bit different, so I thought I'd put it down here, what it was like for this one particular 외국인 marrying a Korean in Korea.

Well it all began on a sunny day in October. Boyfriend (I guess I should call him Husband now) and I were eating burgers and enjoying a lovely Sunday. We were talking about our plans for the new year when we would both quit our jobs and travel the world together. Suddenly, he asked, "Don't you think it would be better if we were married?" To which I responded, "Did you just propose to me?" And he replied, "Well, that's not really how I wanted to propose, but do you want to get married?"

Fast forward two months (short engagement!). After a meeting with his parents, photo-shoot, invitations, blah blah blah, it was finally our wedding day. I expected a low stress experience, since the few Korean weddings I had attended before were pretty short and to-the-point: listen to a twenty minute speech, a friend sings a song, FREE BUFFET! My wedding was a little bit different. I'll save you the minute-by-minute details and stick to the things which I found interesting/different/awesome/frustrating about getting married in Korea.

EXPECTATIONS
I'm not really a fancy kind of gal. I'll admit that my sense of style is crippled at best, but I do enjoy things that are pretty in an understated and classic kind of way. What I found when I was preparing for my wedding day, and on the actual day, is that I was expected to look and act as much like a princess as possible. My wedding planner insisted that I try huge jewelry, tiaras, gloves, etc even when I insisted that I wanted a simple and elegant look. Maybe this happens to brides in every country... I don't know, but I'm happy that I stood up for my pearl studs and french manicure over a tiara and gloves. That is a bride's choice to make. I'm not saying gals shouldn't princess it up if they want to. I just think no one should be pressured into a style that they don't like/aren't comfortable with.

If this woman tries to make me wear a tiara one more time...

대기실
The 대기실 is the room where the bride waits before the wedding ceremony begins. Rather than hiding and then making a huge entrance, the bride sits in her little bride room and takes pictures with friends and family as they arrive before the ceremony. I actually really liked this part. It was nice to meet family and friends before the wedding. It calms the nerves and adds a bit a fun. Being a foreigner, it was also kind of like being a really exotic animal on exhibition. Lots of Boyfriend's friends and family were very shy about speaking English, so they'd poke their heads into the 대기실, smile broadly and wave. It was pretty cute.

My brother and I in the 대기실

VOWS
Because Boyfriend is a culturally sensitive and romantic kind of guy, he suggested that he read his vows in English and I read mine in Korean. This was one of the most stressful but rewarding experiences.

Desperate practicing of the vows

폐백
After we finished our western style wedding ceremony, we changed into 한복 and had a short Korean ceremony called 폐백. This is not a full traditional Korean wedding ceremony, but it's a chance for friends and relatives to say something to the bride and groom (best wishes or advice, etc). There's a lot of bowing and soju. The highlights were: Boyfriend's parents threw chestnuts and figs into a sash in my lap to determine how many kids we'll have (2 daughters, 1 son), Boyfriend and I fought over the seed in a fig to determine who will hold the power in our relationship (me!), and at the end I got a sweet piggy-back ride!

Fighting over the fig seed (not actually making out)

After our ceremony we walked the beaches of Busan and then sang the night away with all of our friends at a private 노래방. Safe to say, it was pretty much the best day ever.

Oh yea, and here are some of the highlights on video!

Anyone else get married in another country/cultural tradition? I'd love to hear about it!

Ashu

대한민국 만 세! (Long Live Korea!)

Today was Independence Day in Korea, which meant there was no work for me and no school for Boyfriend. Originally we planned to have a picnic in one of Seoul's many parks, assuming there might be some cool events going on as well because of the holiday.

Woke up this morning and of course it was cold, windy, and rainy!

Nothing can stop Boyfriend's unyielding patriotism though, so we packed our picnic and headed out to Seodaemun Independence Park anyway. Seodaemun Independence Park is home to the Seodaemun Prison and Independence Gate. Seodaemun Prison was used by the Japanese occupants to house and torture rebel Korean freedom fighters. Now it's a museum with lots of interactive displays and and a lot of neat stuff. There was face-painting and tons of Korean flags everywhere. There were also a crapload of little mini Koreas and one foreigner (me!). One little girl who was walking behind Boyfriend and I shouted to her mother: "외국인입니다!" (It's a foreigner!). One of the many times I'm glad I understand Korean. Hilarious.

Doing his patriotic duty.

When we finished walking around the complex we came out into a courtyard where they were handing out Korean flags and everyone was shouting "대한민국 만 세!" which Boyfriend explained means "Republic of Korea live for 10 000 years!" Everyone was shouting and waving flags together and we all made a parade down to Independence Gate. At the gate, some little kids in traditional costumes held a gigantic Korean flag and we took a big group picture for the newspapers. When Boyfriend and I were walking away from the crowd, a lady came up and asked Boyfriend if she could take my picture since I was the only foreigner there. Who knows? Maybe you'll see me in the papers tomorrow.

Who brought that waegookin?

By this point there was no way I wanted to eat the picnic outside; it was so wet and cold. So we found a convenience store, bought hot chocolate, and ate our picnic inside along with a family chowing down on some Independence Day ramyeon. Then we went to see "Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief" (you know, just the usual Korean independence celebrations), and now I'm trying to muster the energy to leave my house to get some Chinese fried pork from the place down the street.

Oh yea! Funny language barrier story relating to Independence Day... Yesterday Boyfriend and I were walking and he pointed out a man on a bus-stop ad.

BF: "Do you know who that is, Ash?"

Ashu: "No, I don't. Who is it?"

BF: "Ah, he's a really famous Korean hero because he was a terrorist."

Ashu: "Sorry? He's a terrorist but a hero?"

BF: "Yea, he threw a bomb at the Japanese king during occupation."

Ashu: "Oh, you mean he was a rebel?"

BF: "No, terrorist."

Ashu: "In English we usually say someone who is good is a rebel and a bad person is a terrorist, even if they do the same thing. To Koreans that man is a rebel, to Japanese he's a terrorist."

And if you want to go to Independence Park, take subway line 3 to Dongnimmun Station and you'll come right out into it.

Ashu