사랑하는 김치 (Beloved Kimchi)

On our first date, Husband asked me if liked kimchi. My response was, "Oh yea, my favorite is hot kimchi!" He looked a little puzzled. "You know," I explained, "when you eat samgyeopsal and you put the kimchi on the grill. That's delicious." Then he just laughed.

When we left Korea, Mother-in-Law insisted that I pack two huge bags of kimchi in my suitcase. When I opened the suitcase, after about 2-3 days due to some flight issues, ALL of my clothes stank of kimchi! I was so mad. I hated that kimchi. I never wanted to smell kimchi again.

*Note* The kimchi and I eventually got over our differences and shared many delicious meals together.

Now I've tried many kinds of kimchi, but I'd have to say "hot kimchi" still ranks at top. I know the general opinion on kimchi among foreigners goes either way. Some love it; others hate it. I'm not here to preach about the life changing qualities of kimchi, but I have been told that it prevents cancer, and that it's one of the reasons Korea was not affected as adversely by the SARS outbreak a few years back.

After too much excess in Vegas (drinking, gambling, junk food, cigarette smoke everywhere), what I really wanted was a bowl of kimchi jiggae. I don't know why, but I always magically feel healthier after I eat it. I wanted that jiggae so bad that I paid $13 USD for a bowl of kimchi jiggae in Las Vegas. It pains me to write that. That's almost triple the price of what I pay at a restaurant in Korea! But I have to say, I was really satisfied after that jiggae.

To sum up, I'll leave you with my favorite view on the subject. I once asked Husband if kimchi was his favorite food, and he responded, "No, kimchi is like air."

내 한국 결혼식 (My Korean Wedding)

This is the story of my Korean wedding. I blogged a long time ago about Korean weddings (before I actually got to be the bride in one) See here. Needless to say, my experience was a bit different, so I thought I'd put it down here, what it was like for this one particular 외국인 marrying a Korean in Korea.

Well it all began on a sunny day in October. Boyfriend (I guess I should call him Husband now) and I were eating burgers and enjoying a lovely Sunday. We were talking about our plans for the new year when we would both quit our jobs and travel the world together. Suddenly, he asked, "Don't you think it would be better if we were married?" To which I responded, "Did you just propose to me?" And he replied, "Well, that's not really how I wanted to propose, but do you want to get married?"

Fast forward two months (short engagement!). After a meeting with his parents, photo-shoot, invitations, blah blah blah, it was finally our wedding day. I expected a low stress experience, since the few Korean weddings I had attended before were pretty short and to-the-point: listen to a twenty minute speech, a friend sings a song, FREE BUFFET! My wedding was a little bit different. I'll save you the minute-by-minute details and stick to the things which I found interesting/different/awesome/frustrating about getting married in Korea.

EXPECTATIONS
I'm not really a fancy kind of gal. I'll admit that my sense of style is crippled at best, but I do enjoy things that are pretty in an understated and classic kind of way. What I found when I was preparing for my wedding day, and on the actual day, is that I was expected to look and act as much like a princess as possible. My wedding planner insisted that I try huge jewelry, tiaras, gloves, etc even when I insisted that I wanted a simple and elegant look. Maybe this happens to brides in every country... I don't know, but I'm happy that I stood up for my pearl studs and french manicure over a tiara and gloves. That is a bride's choice to make. I'm not saying gals shouldn't princess it up if they want to. I just think no one should be pressured into a style that they don't like/aren't comfortable with.

If this woman tries to make me wear a tiara one more time...

대기실
The 대기실 is the room where the bride waits before the wedding ceremony begins. Rather than hiding and then making a huge entrance, the bride sits in her little bride room and takes pictures with friends and family as they arrive before the ceremony. I actually really liked this part. It was nice to meet family and friends before the wedding. It calms the nerves and adds a bit a fun. Being a foreigner, it was also kind of like being a really exotic animal on exhibition. Lots of Boyfriend's friends and family were very shy about speaking English, so they'd poke their heads into the 대기실, smile broadly and wave. It was pretty cute.

My brother and I in the 대기실

VOWS
Because Boyfriend is a culturally sensitive and romantic kind of guy, he suggested that he read his vows in English and I read mine in Korean. This was one of the most stressful but rewarding experiences.

Desperate practicing of the vows

폐백
After we finished our western style wedding ceremony, we changed into 한복 and had a short Korean ceremony called 폐백. This is not a full traditional Korean wedding ceremony, but it's a chance for friends and relatives to say something to the bride and groom (best wishes or advice, etc). There's a lot of bowing and soju. The highlights were: Boyfriend's parents threw chestnuts and figs into a sash in my lap to determine how many kids we'll have (2 daughters, 1 son), Boyfriend and I fought over the seed in a fig to determine who will hold the power in our relationship (me!), and at the end I got a sweet piggy-back ride!

Fighting over the fig seed (not actually making out)

After our ceremony we walked the beaches of Busan and then sang the night away with all of our friends at a private 노래방. Safe to say, it was pretty much the best day ever.

Oh yea, and here are some of the highlights on video!

Anyone else get married in another country/cultural tradition? I'd love to hear about it!

Ashu

한국 결혼식 (Korean Wedding)

Last weekend, one of my Korean co-workers got married. I've been in Korea almost 2 years, but I'd never been to a Korean wedding. Actually it wasn't much different from a western style wedding, but a few things were a little different.

Korean weddings these days almost always happen at a wedding hall. These are pretty giant convention style buildings with multiple halls where tons of wedding happen every day. I went with Boyfriend. When we got to the hall, we signed in our names and got tickets to the after-ceremony dinner. Then we went to the "Bride Waiting Room" and saw my friend and took a picture together.

After that, the actual ceremony was about 45 minutes. It was all in Korean (obviously), so my understanding was limited, but some of my other co-workers did a little song and dance at the end which was pretty cute. Then all the families and friend groups took pictures with the bride and groom. Finally, they threw the bouquet, a kind of funny twist on the western idea. The bride selects the woman who will catch the bouquet, and only that woman stands and waits for it. After she catches it, she's got three months to get married. Talk about pressure!

The reception was really different from most of the western wedding I've been to. The dinner is included in the use of the wedding hall. After the ceremony, all the guest pile into one of many banquet halls and chow down on free buffet and alcohol. The catch: instead of dancing and drinking into all hours of the morning western wedding style, you've only got two hours in the banquet hall. This seemed a little strange in the light of Korean social convention which usually involves long meetings and lots of alcohol. Anyway, the whole experience was pretty cool, and as Boyfriend said, it was "good experience" for me to see the Korean wedding process as that might be us in a few years.

Congrats to the bride and groom! They are living it up in Hawaii until next week.

결혼해서 축하합니다!

Ashu

제 생일/화이트데이 (My Birthday/White Day)

My birthday was actually over a week ago, but the new job is still sucking endless amounts of my weekday time, so the recap is just coming now.

On March 13th, to most of the modern world, I turned 24. However, every time a Korean person asks my age, my response is qualified by their follow-up question: Korean age or Western age? Korea has a totally different age system than Western countries. Actually I don't know of any other country that calculates age in this peculiar way. I've had numerous Korean friends try to explain it to me several times, and I'm still not sure if I'm 25 or 26 Korean age. It works a little something like this...

So your mother carried you for about 9 months. All that time you were a living creature, so let's just round that up to one year. (Personally I think 9 months to a year is a bit of a stretch, but this seems like the most reasonable part of the equation so I'll let it slide).

Ok, so that means take whatever your Western age is now and add one to it for the year your mother carried you. Alright, makes sense. Here's where things get weird.

Every Korean person turns one year older on Lunar New Year. I don't know why, and I can't seem to figure out if you just get the year from your upcoming birthday early, or if you actually get a whole other year. The former would put me at 25, the latter 26 years old for someone born in 1986. I don't get it, but anyway, it was a great 24th/25th/26th birthday. I had a shindig at my new place, which was nice because it forced me to go out and buy some things to make it more homey.

March 14th is a kind of money-grab holiday in Korea called White Day. You thought Valentine's Day was bad enough at home; Korea has 3 Valentine related holidays! The first is February 14th, still named Valentine's Day, when girls give presents and candy to their boyfriends/husbands. The second is March 14th, White Day, when boys give presents and candy to their girlfriends/wives. The third is April 14th, Black Day, when single people go eat 자짱면 (Chinese black bean noodles) and mourn their singleness... Ouch!

Boyfriend and I had discussed that these holidays are stupid, but he still got me a gorgeous pair of earrings for White Day anyway. He's just that kind of super-lovin' guy!

As of last week yellow dust has plagued Seoul, causing folks to whip out their super-fashionable hospital masks. I actually didn't believe yellow dust was really a dangerous thing until yesterday when the sky was actually a sick, pukey yellow, apocalyptic colour... guess I better head to Family Mart and get myself a mask.

Ashu